Yawn Like Somebody is Watching

The Response to What You’re Doing

The other day I was driving down the road and passed a car heading in the opposite direction. I glanced over just before the other car passed by to see the driver yawning. In a flash they were gone…and I started to yawn.

Even typing the words, I actually just yawned. I just yawned again. I’m not tired, but I can’t stop yawning. Are you thinking about yawning yet? Have you yawned yet? How about now?

Maybe you are one of those rare people who can refrain from yawning even when you see it happening or hear about it. I’m not kidding when I tell you that I yawned several times while looking at Google Images of people yawning to find a picture for this post.

Yawning is contagious. If you’re ever bored at a restaurant, just find someone at another table and fake a yawn while making eye contact with them. They’ll start yawning. It’s hilarious.

I don’t really want to talk about yawning though. I want to talk about what I learned from my encounter with the yawning driver who passed by.

After she passed me, I imitated her behavior. It wasn’t a premeditated response, but it happened. She had no idea how her action affected me.

Have you ever thought about how your actions are affecting other people? If you have, perhaps you have attempted to alter behavior you didn’t want repeated. However, in the rhythm of everyday life sometimes we forget that people may be watching and we quit acting and just yawn…I mean live our actual lives.

If people mimicked the way you talk to your spouse, would their marriage be healthy?

If someone talked to their kids the way you talk to yours, would you think they were good parents?

If another Christian followed Christ the way you do, would they be growing closer to Him or falling further away?

I recognize that this might seem overwhelming. It may make you sweat. It might scare you, but it doesn’t have to. Their responses could be positive or negative things. Somewhere, someone is probably emulating some of your good behavior too.

The reality is, people are always watching. If you have kids living at home, they are for sure. You are consciously and subconsciously modeling for them what it means to be an adult. Even beyond kids, people on your job, people in your community, your neighbors, your friends, and total strangers. They are just passing by, observing your behavior and it has an affect on them.

What actions are you taking that may be causing a response from someone else?

Live like someone is watching. Because they are!

How to Be Strategic

It’s Not as Hard as You Think

Most Saturdays for our little family are filled running between baseball games, lacrosse games and eating food in the car. We’ve been pretty lucky thus far to juggle practice nights during the week without feeling like we are all running in opposite directions. However, Saturdays are a bit trickier. Everyone plays on Saturday. This usually involves at least two cars, some expert scheduling to get everyone where they need to be on time, and a lot of FaceTime calls so one parent can include the other parent in watching an at bat or goal scored from miles away.

A few weeks ago Tucker had team pictures at 8am, a baseball game at 9am, Cooper had a baseball game 20 miles away at 9am, and Branson had a lacrosse game 10 miles away, but not until 3pm. To complicate things a bit, Corrie’s phone had been dropped that week and her screen was cracked so much she was getting glass on her face whenever she talked on the phone. Knowing that our schedule would not be conducive to getting it fixed the next week I decided to “fit in” a Genius Bar appointment around lunchtime.

So…after the morning games I went and parked my car at the field where Branson would play later that afternoon, Corrie met me and we rode together to the mall to eat lunch and get her phone fixed. Then we drove back to Branson’s game where we had two cars.

I’m a dork, so I have to tell you that I actually sat down the night before to chart out the plan and talk it through with Corrie. I had checked Waze to make sure I knew how far it was between the various locations we needed to be throughout the day. I was pretty pumped about my plan.

That’s really all strategy is…a plan.

A lot of people say, “I’m not strategic” or “I need someone to help me develop a strategy for that.” While I agree that there are people who are more strategic thinkers than others, I think we can all be strategic. It just requires a little planning.

So here’s 4 ways to be more strategic.

1- Define the goal.

For us on that Saturday it was getting everyone where they needed to be as efficiently as possible. At my church, we have a goal to see 15 people get outside the United States this year and serve on the “mission field.” In your home, maybe it is getting all the laundry done before guests come visit next weekend. It doesn’t really matter what your goal is. You just have to know what it is.

2- Decide who will be involved.

Some people wait to add people to the process after the plan is developed. I like to know who and how many before I work out the how. Having a few more or a few less people may dictate what we actually do.

3- Determine the plan.

Work backwards from your goal. We had to get to Branson’s game by 2:30 for warmups. So what time do we need to leave the mall? Okay, is there a Genius Bar appointment between 12 and 1pm? How long will it take us to get to the mall from the field? What time would Tucker’s game need to be over for us to get to the mall on time? There seems to be extra time, would it be beneficial to park a car and meet so we are only driving one car to the mall and back?

Or…The guests arrive on Friday. I have 96 loads of laundry. It takes 2 hours to wash, dry and fold a load. I need at least 6 hours of sleep per night. So I have 18 hours a day of non-stop laundry to get it all done. 😉

You may realize as you work backwards that you have to eliminate some steps, or you don’t have time or the resources to do what needs to be done. So you have to change the plan, move the deadline or change the number of people involved.

4- Don’t be too rigid.

Work your plan, but be willing to adapt if necessary. Strategy is only as good as it’s execution. So don’t give up if it doesn’t work exactly like you hoped it would (more on that later this week).

I promise you can be strategic. You just have spend some time developing a plan.

 

If you are trying to accomplish something and need an outside set of eyes to help you develop or think through your strategy click here. I’d love to help.

How to Make Better Decisions

Knowing when to say “yes” and when to say “no”

Recently our family visited the beach for Spring Break. The evenings were filled with All-You-Can-Eat Seafood Buffets, lazer tag, go-kart racing and Aloe Vera. The days were filled with walks on the beach, swimming in the pool, sand castles and riding waves in the ocean.

As I watched my three boys riding waves it was quickly obvious that what could be a leisurely activity was turning into the Wave Riding World Championship. They walked, waded, and maneuvered their way out to deeper waters and then waited…

It was at this point that I realized they were demonstrating something in the ocean that I needed in my leadership.

Not every wave is worth riding. Learning which waves to ride is what makes you successful.

There are literally millions of books, podcasts, magazines, and blog posts to inspire you, teach you and challenge you. The problem comes when you try to implement every (or a lot of) idea(s) you come across.

I once knew a youth pastor who literally changed what he preached (and really what he thought he believed about God) based on the latest book he was reading.

I see leaders who change their mission, vision, strategy, hiring process, staffing structure, and more after every conference they attend.

I know people  who move the furniture or hang a new picture in a room in their house after every episode of “Fixer Upper”.

There are several problems for people like this:

1- They don’t truly know who they are or what they like/believe.

Remember the movie “Runaway Bride”? To really find herself she needed to know how she liked her eggs, and not just how the man she was with at the time liked his eggs.

When you are secure in who you are, you aren’t as easily swayed by the latest fad or most recent podcast you listened to. That doesn’t mean you don’t implement new ideas, but you do so after evaluating the information and filtering it for your context.

2- They don’t make me want to follow their lead.

The only thing worse than a lack of leadership is schizophrenic leadership. If I can’t be sure that who we are when I show up to work today is at least similar to who we were when I left work yesterday, I’m not sure I can stay here.

Some leaders think they are inspiring followers by being open to change, when really they are creating an uneasiness that eventually becomes unsettling.

So how do you decide which waves are worth riding?

Be patient. Recognize that there will be far more waves you don’t ride than those that you do ride. Activity is not success. Effectiveness is success.

Go for it. Just because you can’t ride every waves doesn’t mean you can’t ride some. When you see a wave that you think will carry you where you want to go, start kicking!

I loved watching my boys run to where I was sitting after riding a wave all the way up onto the beach. The excitement was written on their faces.

I want more days like that in leadership. I think it means I just have to let some good waves go by while waiting for the best ones.